People say to just move on but it's hard. It breaks my heart my baby will grow up without it's father. Or if he decides to pop back up it will have two parents who can't get along. I can't forgive him for what he's done. I'll always have that underlying anger because he kicked me out of his life and had someone else before I could even say his name. What makes a person just decide one day to get rid of someone and suddenly say a million things are wrong with them? I think I have a right to have mood swings. I have a right to worry and be highstrung. Everything happened way to fast. I didn't run away though like he did. I didn't give up. I don't have a clue anymore what he wants or what he's capable of. His statement I could stay with him until The baby was born then he'd raise it was so stupid! Downright cruel. I've been left a lot but I never imagined I would because of a baby. It's exhausting worrying all by myself. It's saddening to see all The other fathers there while I am alone. I pray one day he can be happy about this. Maybe it's just me and if it were anyone else he would have made it work. Im tired of trying to reach out because he remains silent. My heart aches for me and The baby. I'll love it enough for two but I still wish he were here.
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