16 weeks

Hard to believe that today makes 16 weeks. The only complaints I have are waking up hungry and going to The bathroom a million times. I also have to complain that The father has completely cut me out of his life. I don't understand why he cannot be happy. This isn't going to affect his life in a negative way. He will still be able to see who he wants, do what he wants, travel, party and whatever else he does. The only thing changing is he is bringing another human into The world. He feels pressure I guess to be committed when I never asked him for that. I wanted it but I never asked him for it. Does he suddenly think that appearing after 9 months will make him a father? Not to me. Being a father means being there now. Leaving someone to do everything on their own then suddenly appearing doesn't make you a good person.  I feel as if he just doesn't want to give up his lifestyle of drinking with his friends and seeing as many girls as he can. I feel nothing but hurt by him . It isn't true what he claimed that he couldn't have anymore kids . So he leaves me to deal with what he lied about. Im angry but im sad. To ask someone to not keep their child is wrong. To ask them to make a decision that would forever hurt them is selfish and cruel. So I lost him because I chose what was right. No matter what he said it wasn't until he knew I was pregnant that his whole tone towards me changed. He was mean from The very first test. I could hear in his voice he never wanted this child. I still get sad at night but I tell baby it doesn't matter. I love him or her and want them more than anything.