2014

A new year is finally here. I am not at all sad to see 2013 go. I am much looking forward to 2014. It will be The best year of my life because in June I'll be bringing a little one into this world. I never thought I would get The chance to be a parent. All my relationships have never left me with The feeling it would be possible. I guess what's meant to be always is and that's why I call this baby my miracle baby. From The day I found out my whole life changed and this baby has saved me from The misery that was my life. I prayed for a change and I got something that will forever change everything. I am just sad The father chooses to not be apart of this. All we've done is argue because I wanted this baby and he didn't. It wasn't something planned and for him to say things moved to fast is so childish. How do you expect it to be when suddenly a child is created by two people. I didn't do this on my own. We've only been seeing each other since August so yes things did move quick but I never imagined he'd just kick me out of his life. The kicker is seeing someone else. I feel alone and it's not a good feeling. I just hold it together for The baby. I want The best for it now and forever. Stress isn't something I want to put on it while it's depending on me to bring it into this life. You simply can't change The way people feel. I can only move forward. Baby will not lack love and all it needs is someone who wants it and will do everything in their power to protect it as it grows. When I get frustrated and want to cry I just take a deep breathe. I've left everything negative behind in The old year. I steer how The next 364 days will be. I worry about baby everyday and can't wait to finally get into The doctor and see it and hear it's heartbeat. Praying. Happy 2014.