♣ blessings ♣

It's not the first time I've made someone mad and it most likely will not be the last. I do care but what can you do when the other person doesn't even want to try to understand where you are coming from? I am sorry but if I really wanted to have someone in my life I wouldn't go days without talking to them. If I knew they were trying to get in touch with me regardless of what was going on I would make the effort to let them know. Why is it that I seem so different than the people I meet? It all starts out good. The guy tries his best to do everything and anything to win you over and then once they think they have you they just stop. Why is that? Why do people have to change so much? So many people are always taking people for granted because they believe that they have them and they can never lose them. Just because someone has feelings for you doesn't mean that they are just going to continue to put up with crap. So what if my expectations are high? They are only high because I am giving what I want in return. I am so confused about the people God has brought into my life. I know that they are teaching me lessons but sometimes the lessons get to hard. I don't expect anyone in this world to even understand the emotional distress I have been through and the ways that it has changed my life. It has changed me and led  me places that  I never wanted to be. I lost everything in my life.All the money I had saved, my transmission went out on my car. I couldn't pay the rent at my place. There were just days that would go by where I couldn't even get out of bed. There were nights that I would drink so much to forget that I would throw up stomach acid all the next day. I let my health and my life go straight down the tube until I was at the lowest point in my life. So now I  am trying to rebuild.  It is not easy. It is a day to day kind of thing. I have the motivation to rise back to the top and that is the only thing I need. I just wish that I didn't invest time in people who are beyond understanding. Just because your life has been nothing but good doesn't mean that everyone gets to be that lucky. Just because you would never let the loss of someone you love destroy all that you have doesn't mean other people are that strong. We are all  different and to expect people to be like you and see the world through your eyes is just plain stupid. There is nothing wrong with starting over to me.I am here alive still getting the chance to live and make my life what I want. Just because I am 30 and not where I want to be doesn't mean that I will  never get there. I just had a huge stumbling block that has blocked my path for a little while. I will work hard to earn the money back. I will find a way to bring peace back to my soul, It just takes losing everything to finally see what life really means,.