◘ Love ◘

When it comes to matters of the heart I am not expert. I am learning and living day by day just like everyone else. I make a lot of mistakes because I am scared. The things that have happened to me have changed me when I didn't want them to. I wish that I could be the person that I was before. We all should be lucky to go through life and relationships and not be damaged or destroyed. Some of us fall madly in love with people who turn out to be the biggest downfall of our lives. I didn't ask for it. Sure I could have made changes before it got to far gone but I can't go back now. I just have to hope that there is a man out there who can see how damaged I am and still want to be apart of me life. When I am unsure and want to run the other way they will understand and pull me closer. It is even more important to me now than ever before that I only give my time to people who make me important. Who treat me the way I treat them and who do not take me granted. I demand to be paid attention to and time to be made for me because I deserve it. I cannot give all of myself anymore unless I have a good feeling that it is going to go somewhere. I cannot have feelings for someone who is just going to be a stone wall. I don't have it in me to try to break through walls and save people who aren't capable of having relationships. I am tired of being the one who has to hold everything together. I want someone to be there for me just once. I do want to be with someone and have someone in my life who makes me happy and who I can go to when all the stresses of life wear me down. It's just not enough anymore to say your miss someone or say you enjoy someone's company. You have to back up everything you say. If you say your going to call then call. If something comes up explain. Always treat someone the way you would want. If someone doesn't answer your call and you think that they are with someone else then think what that person thinks when you don't return calls or texts. I have tried for so long on those that I was sure could love if they could just put their guard down. It's to exhausting. I can't fix anyone because I can't even fix myself. Love is all about risks and finding the person who is worth the pain if it doesn't work out. Right now I would just like to get someone who gives me butterflies because without those there is no hope.