So happy

Being pregnant has been the most joyus thing to ever happen to me. I need to get documented all the things along the way I want to remember.  Being in the third trimester I am counting down the days until my little one gets here. Even though I want him here now I want him to come when he is ready and healthy. There seems to be so many things left to do before he gets here. Planning takes work and because I love being organized I have to have everything done or it will bother me for sure. The not sleeping and tossing and turning is one of the downfalls of pregnancy. I have not slept since the first trimester. I went through a stage of nightmares and vivid scary dreams in the second. Now I dream about all the male celebrites that I am a fan of. The worst part is standing on my feet. After two hours the aches start to come. After four hours straight it is unbearable. It is making work difficult and I worry about how long I can do it. If I am strained and exhausted will it affect Landon? I have no help from Landons creater. I decided to quit calling him father because he has not earned that title. I have heard from him once since feb. All of my voicemails and letters go unanswered. I really am scared he will not be there for the birth. He said he would look into why my calls are not going through. That was just another lie. I still get sad but I have bought everything, attended every doctors appointment alone and prepared the best that I could. I am use to doing it alone and comfortable doing it alone. Sure I worry about his threats once to take him away but I know that it will not happen. I am going to be a great mom. No one will ever love him like I do. I see hope in potential in him and I know I will give him a good life. He will be my little buddy. I am taking classes for teacher and personal training so that I have options to support us. No time to slack or put off some type of degree anymore. So far except for one class I am doing good. Hopefully Friday I will figure out what is going on with my math class. Life can only get better. The doctors say he is a happy baby and that makes me beam. I can only strive to make his life nothing but  happiness and joy.