HARD WAY

THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE SOMEWHERE TRYING TO BRING YOU DOWN , WHEN THEY ARE MISERABLE AND YOU ARE HAPPY THEY TRY EVERYTHING TO BRING YOU DOWN TO THEIR LEVEL . PEOPLE ARE GOING TO START LEARNING THE HARD WAY THAT I WILL NOT BE TREATED JUST ANYWAY. I HAVE TO TAKE OUT ON THE KIDS WHAT IS MY MOMS FAULT. I SUPPLIED DINNER TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW AND BOUGHT THE KIDS SHIRTS AND ALL I HEAR IS HER GETTING MAD AT SOMEONE ELSE AND SAYING SHE WILL CALL THE COPS AND HAVE THE GROWN KIDS SET OUT. I AM BEYOND SICK OF IT. I ALREADY AM AWARE SHE DOESNT WANT TO BE IN THE DELIVERY ROOM. SO I WILL NOT BE BUYING THE KIDS ANYTHING ELSE. I WILL NOT BE SPENDING ANOTHER DIME ON THEM BECAUSE SHE CHOOSES TO BE MISERABLE AND NOT APPRECIATE  ANYTHING. IVE NEVER SEEN ANYONE NOT EVEN WANT THEIR OWN KIDS AROUND. AS OF TODAY THINGS ARE CHANGING. I WILL GO EVERYWHERE BY MYSELF AND SPEND MONEY ON MY OWN CHILD. THERE WILL BE NO MORE GROCERIES BOUGHT OR BABYSITTING. NOT SURE WHAT THEY WILL  DO ON SPRING BREAK FOR LUNCH BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING BUT HAMBURGER HELPER THEY CANT FIX. AS I COOL DOWN FROM THE LATEST YELLING INCIDENT I WILL RETURN TO MY HAPPINESS. ILL MAKE PLANS SOONER OR LATER SO ME AND MY BABY CAN BE GONE FROM THIS MADNESS. 

My Boy

Becoming a parent is the most exciting thing that will ever happen to me. I can't believe me and my boy have made it to 25 weeks. Everyday is about preparing the best I can because once I get to 35 weeks there's no telling when he will come. No words can describe how happy and at peace I am. There are days that are stressful when it comes to thinking about how I'll manage financially. The father has not been there and I don't really know if he will ever be. I won't stop reaching out to him though because my boy deserves two parents. I have let go of the fact that he was seeing someone else before my official doctor visit. I am over him saying he would be there and attend appointments and help financially. No reason to hang on to this because no matter what my joy will not be taken away. He has threatened to try and take him from me. I don't want my baby in a long court drawn out battle. My prayer is we can work out a good plan to co-parent him when he's old enough. My prayer is he will financially do what he is supposed to do. I keep every receipt of everything I buy because I want him to know what he needs to invest now. I can't imagine a day without my boy or even worse having him taken from me. Threats like that are heartless and I will never forgive him for saying it. Whether he meant it or not I have loved this boy since the day I knew he existed and no one will ever love him like I do. I am very anxious for him to get here and I feel like then my life will have meaning and will really begin. Every decision I make is for him. My fall at work thank goodness was nothing major. Landon was fine and that's all that matters. I was really hurt to find out my mom and my brother had said that I made the whole thing up just to use her van to do things with. I would never lie about my baby. Second I never had the van. Jordan dropped me off, picked me up and then went to work. My wish is to get away from them. Constant negativity and saying things like that is not something I want my baby around. My own family sits and talks about each other behind their backs and it's disgusting. Maybe if certain people in that house would get a life and stop living in a way that isn't even right it would be a lot better. I don't want my child around all that and I'll do whatever I have to so that he is away from it. I would keep my child my from my family. If they continue to leave me without a ride to appointments and continue talk about me I will leave and never come back.